Day 18: “Written Delusions”

Poetry

in late hours

I laud my words for

permitting one last

touch to those who

are out of my reach;

but when I wake

I curse myself for

ever holding a pen

with the intention to

create fantasies.

I have entered a state

in which I tire of

writing

for nevermore

do I wish to

pretend.

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Day 17: “Know No Gray”

Poetry

A penetrable soul is a blessing and a curse

When you’re prone to feeling deeply.

Emotions escape to either end of the spectrum

As though no space holds them apart.

By this manner I need only trifles

To steal the breath from my lungs.

I’m captured by fractions of details

That no one else perceives.

But if my mind falls prey to wonder —

If I peer one inch too closely —

The scale may tip in opposition

To my weak impressionable heart.

I’ll catch your slightest stutter and

Reason what words you held back.

I’ll watch your gaze drop and

Figure there’s somewhere better to look.

Some days I ask for the price of ignorance

But never can I afford it.

I’m flattened between black and white —

Two walls that will never touch.

Freewrite Entry: “Void Description”

Freewriting

I’ve always thought of myself as someone who notices everything — all those details that most people seem to miss.

But in the midst of your hug, I don’t notice the smell of detergent on your t-shirt or where your arms are placed on my back. I could look into your eyes for hours, and as soon as I look away, I won’t remember their color. You could engrave your words into my chest and I still won’t know what you said — but I’ll sure know how I felt when you spoke.

Maybe I’m too caught up in the moment, or maybe you cloud my head, and maybe outside of you I get stuck on little things because there’s nothing else important.

But you — there’s a whole world inside of you. If I stop for every detail along the way, every shift in your movement, every flicker of your eyes, I might forget to just feel.

That’s how I know someone’s important to me. I can’t describe a moment we shared. I can only feel it.