A penetrable soul is a blessing and a curse
When you’re prone to feeling deeply.
Emotions escape to either end of the spectrum
As though no space holds them apart.
By this manner I need only trifles
To steal the breath from my lungs.
I’m captured by fractions of details
That no one else perceives.
But if my mind falls prey to wonder —
If I peer one inch too closely —
The scale may tip in opposition
To my weak impressionable heart.
I’ll catch your slightest stutter and
Reason what words you held back.
I’ll watch your gaze drop and
Figure there’s somewhere better to look.
Some days I ask for the price of ignorance
But never can I afford it.
I’m flattened between black and white —
Two walls that will never touch.
I’ve always thought of myself as someone who notices everything — all those details that most people seem to miss.
But in the midst of your hug, I don’t notice the smell of detergent on your t-shirt or where your arms are placed on my back. I could look into your eyes for hours, and as soon as I look away, I won’t remember their color. You could engrave your words into my chest and I still won’t know what you said — but I’ll sure know how I felt when you spoke.
Maybe I’m too caught up in the moment, or maybe you cloud my head, and maybe outside of you I get stuck on little things because there’s nothing else important.
But you — there’s a whole world inside of you. If I stop for every detail along the way, every shift in your movement, every flicker of your eyes, I might forget to just feel.
That’s how I know someone’s important to me. I can’t describe a moment we shared. I can only feel it.